Pick Up Lines
by scarletlovecharlie
Summary: Cheesy and sexual pick up lines, thanks to Laito. Reader brushes them off or sasses them until she finally caves in. It's cute and funny. Swearing and sexual lines used. No actual sex though. T for safety I'd probably say you should at least be 14 to read. Laitoxreader Complete for now, maybe a new bonus chapter later on if I find some more good pick up lines
"Bitch-chan~! Where are you?" I heard Laito sing and I sighed, I was in the lounge room on the 2nd floor. I stayed silent, it wasn't like I was trying to hide, but I didn't want to let him know where I was either. I continued reading my book until it was torn from my hands.
"What are you reading?" I jumped lightly before turning to Laito.  
"You against Me. It's a good book." I said before trying to grab it back from his hands.  
"Here, I'll let you read my favorite book." He smirked before tossing me a book. I stared at the cover.  
"Fifty shades of grey? Laito, I'm not reading this, I don't need to." I tossed it back and he pouted.  
"If you don't want to read it then I can always show you how it works." He whispered in my ear and I shivered before snatching my book from his hands.  
"No thanks Laito, and if you're hungry go and bug Yui." I waved him away and turned back to the page in my book. I heard shuffling behind me and before I knew it Laito was sat in my lap.  
"Laito, what are you doing?" I kept my eyes focused on my book and tried to ignore him, the best that I could. He ignored my question and asked me one instead.  
"Hey baby, you know how they saw skin is the largest organ?" I took my eyes away from my book and looked at the boy in front of me.  
"Yeah.."  
"Well, not in my case~!" I stared at him for a few seconds before responding.  
"There's still skin on your penis so it would still be the largest organ." I said before turning back to my book and left Laito sputtering about how I had rejected him so easily.

He was sure to get me this time, he approached me with swift steps and wrapped an arm over my shoulders, playing with a piece of my hair. I sighed, before turning to the vampire.  
"What do you want Laito?" He simply smirked before leaning in close to my face, our noses almost touching.  
"Sex is a killer wanna die happy?" I looked him in the eye, raising an eyebrow.  
"So you're going to kill me…with your…penis?" I spoke slowly and watched as he sighed dramatically and stormed off, muttering to himself. It was cute watching him try and get laid via pick up lines.

I was eating some cereal happily, there was 40 minutes left before we had to leave for school and I was determined to not get in trouble from Reiji for being late…again. The others had yet to get up and the mansion was nice and quiet.  
"Hey y/n!" I jumped at the sound of his voice. Putting a hand to my beating heart, I turned to face the riot that scared me.  
"Oh, hey Laito." I muttered angrily before turning back to my food.  
"The word of the day is legs, lets go back to my room and spread the word." He whispered in my ear. I stood up with me cereal bowl and stood with my legs apart.  
"Done." I walked off to put my bowl in the sink before going back to my room to get into my school uniform.

We were in the car on the way to school. Everyone was silent and doing something to occupy themselves. I had my eyes shut as I though of all the homework I had to do.  
"Hey, y/n?" I opened an eye and everyone turned to face Laito, who was sat across the car from me.  
"Yes?" I said, interested in what he had to say to me.  
"I'm an organ donor. And I have an organ you might need." He winked and looked at me suggestively and everyone's heads turned to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  
"So you're gonna cut off your own dick, and hand it to me. Congratulations." I said as the car burst into laughed. Ayato, who I was sat next to, leant over and wrapped an arm over my shoulders.  
"You are the best!" He laughed, Shu simply gave me a smile, even Subaru was laughing. Reiji was hiding his face behind his book and Kanato was laughing to Teddy. I decided to make Laito a little jealous and leaned into Ayato's arm. I caught the look he sent me but smiled innocently anyway.

I was lunch time at night school and just as I was heading out of class with Ayato and Kanato my path was blocked by Laito. He pushed me back into the class room and pinned me to the wall.  
"Laito you can't do this here, I'll give you some when we get home." I tried to whisper to him but he simply grinned at me.  
"You remind me of my big tow, because I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture I own." I had to hold in a snort. That one was funny and relatable.  
"Hahaha, ok, ok! I give in!" I laughed and he smiled, leaning away with a triumphant grin.  
"I knew it would work!"


End file.
